Waking the Dragon of Slumbering CPTSD

I didn’t know I had Complex PTSD until I was 36 years old. I deliberately turned off my trauma – tossed it, pretended it never happened – when Social Services removed my sister and I from our mother’s custody and placed us with our newly sober and forever ex-criminal father. We never talked about our […]

In which I resented babies and learned to love them

It’s been a LONG time since I’ve written an original post, so excuse my writing, I’m rusty and disjointed on medication that for the most part works. When my Cenobites are raging the words flow and flow and flow. The medication takes the words and chains the Cenobites and keeps the real me at bay. […]

Naptime and Pristiq (And Elvis Costello)

I lay down for my usual 3 pm nap today. Sometimes I don’t sleep at all, just lay there and relax the body. Today I took some Valium and slipped under my blankets. I grabbed my stuffed rabbit & cuddled him. My tortie came in & curled up on my pillow, laying her head down […]

The Life-Saving Art of Martin Wittfooth

All I want to do is go to bed, but I just noticed that awfully neglected ‘ART’ category up at the top of my page. And, well, it’s Day 22 here at McLean. So I don’t want to go to bed unhappy. So I will share with you some of the magical work of my […]

Dear Jigsaw, Are You Accepting Patients?

So tomorrow will make it two weeks since I’ve been here. I am scheduled to be discharged. I’m not sure how many times I have told my ‘team’ that I still do not feel safe, they are treating me like I’m a baby. We have check in teams and the nurses say “No, you have […]

In-patient: Day 9 (I can’t fucking take it any more! Plus a timeless Urine-Protest Tale)

Good God (no, I’m an atheist, sorry), and here I was trying to clean up my blog, reorganize my blogroll & mix it up a bit, work on the others, but I have to post. The women here range from 19 to 60 – there are a handful of the teens and they, again, think […]

In-patient: Days 5 & 6 (Potential Triggers – not really though)

DAY 5 Today one of the women (K) was waiting for meds at the nurses station. The same nurse who had checked me in on Friday night. Some conversation ensued, I didn’t catch the whole thing – something about how everybody has problems. K: Yes, my sister-in-law is a psychiatric nurse and she has plenty […]

Reposted from But She’s Crazy – My Beloved Child

My Beloved Child.

Why thank you, Broken Light Collective

Even though I so hate images of my wretched self… Just published – hooray – no rejection triggers!

Support: A Very Quick Post

Headed to ER tonight to check in – my boss just e-mailed me re. what she needs done by next week. I told her I was checking in but that have planned tactically to get into the unit that allows laptops & cell phones, so that I could get the work done. Her response: Hi-  […]