More a Check-In than a Blog Post

My hospital bed. (No, not really)


Am in the ER at Mt. Auburn in Cambridge, McLean has a bed reserved for me at Women’s PTSD unit – the God’s are shining down upon me today.

Magical ambulance ride shortly, where you get to stare out the back at traffic and are totally disoriented when you are leaving the facility.


My Limousine


But, the reason for the post, for those of you who have never had the pleasure – the funniest thing about committing yourself – I’m in a room at the ER & they have taken my things (except my computer & work materials – somehow it didn’t occur to them a pen could be used for self harm, though I’m not a self-harmer) & they have the shade opened so I have no privacy & – here’s the fun part – I HAVE MY OWN PRIVATE SECURITY GUARD! Making sure I don’t try to drown myself in the sink, cut myself with my plastic knife from lunch, swallow some rubber hospital gloves. Actually, I prefer to think of him as my Guardian Angel, even though he doesn’t speak, reads the ‘Boston Herald’ and wears a scary uniform.


My Guardian Angel, sans wings



  1. Dorothy says:

    You know I’m glad because you’ll get help and I have had the honor just not at Mclean but at other places. Getting to keep your computer is a plus even for part of the time. I also like having a private security guard especially if he’s good looking!!
    “Give ’em Hell”….figuratively, of course 🙂

    • What a day – I didn’t have to get in the gurney, got to sit in the back of the ambulance with the very good looking EMT (the driver was sexy too) & he was telling me HE had been here during his divorce last year & then I got to walk in on my own two feet! A day filled with dignity!!!

      Hope you never have to go back in, me either, lovely as these places can be.


      • Dorothy says:

        I also follow Broken Light and see that you made the page. Kudos for that…I haven’t got the guts to even send my photo their thinking no one wants to see me anyway…LOL. I love what you submitted…it shows that we all walk through life with these illnesses and no one even could be your neighbor, the woman checking out your groceries, the psychiatrist that lives down the street…it doesn’t show on the outside.
        BTW, I’m on Zoloft and the best thing I can say about it for PTSD is that it makes you not care about what happened to you. The first month I took it was hell though….after I got through that then I was okay and then all the pain I was feeling just didn’t bother me anymore. The only reason I can’t take a higher dose which would probably help is that I suffer from IBS and it tends to bother that. Anyway, hope your weekend isn’t too boring there as they can be.
        Hugs, Dot

      • Thanks so much for your lovely response to that post! I don’t love those pics of me but wanted to be part of the cool crowd so I sent them. I took them for a reason, so I figured what the hell?

        Holiday on Monday so not docs/med switches until Tuesday, I know zoloft can take up to 6 weeks to hit, so who knows, but I’m glad it helps for you.

        Hope you can enjoy the weekend.


  2. Please know that you are iun my heart and prayers
    Safe Cyber Hugs

  3. So GLAD you’re going!!!! Hope you do have wifi and can check in. You’ll feel so much better soon!

  4. Dang girl–I never had my own security guard! 😉

  5. I’m glad your sense of humor is intact despite your current struggles. I chuckled more than once reading this and couldn’t help but admire your ability to make light of life even while in the ER. That’s a sure sign of health, no matter howw weighted down by illness you might feel. Please take care. I’m glad you’re getting the help you need and are tending to your symptoms. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and sending all my positive energy your way. And thanks for the chuckles! 🙂

    • Thank you so much hon! If I couldn’t laugh at everything I would have been gone years ago! It’s a life saver!

      Hope you are doing well/having peace. Will be catching up on blogs all weekend, it’s quiet here on weekends, so don’t be surprised it you see a bunch of comments on your page 🙂

      Love, j

  6. Wow…. though I have never been hospitalized I have certainly felt I needed it at times. I have never known exactly what it was like. I was with B once when he was on suicide watch but it was a joke and he wound up just walking out.

    • Ah, this is my 6th? 7th? I can’t keep track. I love this unit bc they let us keep our cell phones & laptops – only psych ward in Mass that does! Go McLean & Harvard! Just a quiet weekend & then get to work on everything on Tuesday after the holiday. If they don’t help me get fixed this time I don’t know what I’m going to do. How are you hon, you seem pretty well? Kiddos?

      • I am doing fair. My kiddos are all good… I am missing them terribly and hoping we all get to share some time together at the end of June…. money permitting. 🙂

  7. Someone must be able to help you, even if its not the people you expect. I would commit myself, but things aren’t as pretty here in Denver. You will be ok though, even if you do not find help right away, you will someday even if its being set free. ❤ Much love.

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