An Anthem to Suicidality &/or All of Our Disorders? Please watch this video.

Bear with me here. Have been UNDER for a week, forced myself to post last week, but have been hardly able to read any other blogs, much less post one. I have been wanting to die and unable to find a bed at a hospital where I would actually be ok at.

I am always listening to this 70’s mix in the car – it has a few Eagles songs (that’s where the “bear with with me” comes in – so many people “hate The Fuckin’ Eagles.” I half suspect most of this is rooted in the Big Lebowski phenomenon – everyone wants to be like The Dude. To abide The Dude.

So there I am yesterday on my way to work hoping I wouldn’t feel like dying at any point during the day and my FAVORITE Eagles song comes on. “I Can’t Tell You Why”.  And because I’m in mental mode I’m listening to it with mental ears. And, as I’m listening, I hear my own inner conversation with:

  • My Suicidality: Every time I try to walk away/something makes me turn around and stay
  • Major Depression: Look at us baby/up all night/tearing our love apart
  • My Borderline: When we get crazy/it just ain’t right/girl I get lonely too/don’t get caught in your little world/’cause I love you
  • My Complex PTSD: Aren’t we the same two people who lived through years in the dark?
I love the fuckin’ Eagles. I love them so much I even love the final two minutes of this song, which are entirely instrumental (I usually forward to the next song when that happens. Not the Eagles.) Watch and see if you don’t hear something familiar here. And see if you can’t help falling for Timothy B. Schmit.
Ultimately, this line may speak best to all of us: Nothing’s wrong as far as I can see/we make it harder than it has to be. And I can’t tell you why.”
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Comments

  1. Dorothy says:

    I love the Eagles . I like their driving songs, especially from the early 70s or Hotel California has always been the anthem for the mental house for me….”You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave!” lol…..
    Hang in there, I’m feeling it too but can’t leave my Dad because no one can watch him or I’d be checking into the Hotel Cali too. This sux
    Xtra big Hugs,
    Dot

  2. I love the Eagles too! I sure hope you get out of this, though I know it must be difficult. Keep pushing. It’s probably good to talk about it I imagine. Take care…

    • Yay. A friend on my haiku page once said it’s guys just jealous of a group of good looking, cool, successful fellows. I don’t know any women who hate the Eagles. XOXO

  3. Leaving a hug here with you, stay in there! 🙂 Things will change again!

  4. “hotel California” is the ONLY song I know by heart! 🙂 And I am so proud everytime I hear it on the radio and being able to sing the whole thing in my head.
    Wouldn’t want to make people suffer while singing out loud!

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