Dear Today: FUCK YOU

Hate it when I have a great day (or imagine I do) and then by 8:42 I wish I had been hit by a car.



  1. Im pretty sure half of the BPD population is feeling like that today. Its a wonder the suicide statistics arent higher. This is hell.

  2. Dorothy says:

    Yeah, what’s going on? My therapist suggested I try fish oil….LOL….what about you? Doesn’t that make you feel better??

    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, thanks for the laugh! You should bring him/her a bottle for your next visit, as a gift for the extraordinarily insightful, breakthrough solution to BPD. Why didn’t we think of that? It’s so very obvious!

      • If someone finds out that fish oil cures BPD, someone is going down. Not gonna happen though! I’ve been on fish oil. While its good for you…. doesn’t cure BPD. I did actually leave my room today. After 6pm… but im counting it. Today has been literally torture.

      • Sorry, you’ve had it all day, kiddo 😦 I knew it was coming bc I had to take Adderall today (2 days in a row) bc I had my annual physical & needed to make sure it wasn’t raising blood pressure & have EKG (normal), but whenever I take them 2 days in a row I get this. So I was waiting for it, tried to head off with valium at 5, then a trazodone at 9. Do you have anything to take to kind of quiet it, or try to? Aside from fish oil. I know you’re also resistant to most meds, I think the meds are actually keeping mine from torture level.

        Giant hugs.

        If I have energy by Sunday I think of found my 1st helpful focus object that would have been prescribed under what I found to be useless DBT. Do you like art at all? I’m a fanatic & I bought a piece this week & if I hold it I feel calmer. I feel like the artist was in my brain.

        Will share soon for all to potentially think on.

        Hope you have a good rest overnight & wake up untormented.

      • Thanks 🙂 I take Klonapin 3 times a day, but today took an ativan and it helped. Hope you get sleep too!

      • Ah, twins – well, I take 1mg 2x a day of klon. Valium has proven useless of late (up to 25 mg??? WTF?) so will be asking to shift to ativan. Its so reliable in the clutch! Glad it helped. My next post: Ode to Benzodiazepines. Well, probably not next, but soon. Hugs, sleep well.

      • Good idea! The conversations around here (people w/o BPD) has been surrounding my need to get off of the all addictive benz. As you know.. when something works, fucking with it is REAAAAALLLLYYYYY not good. So if/when it comes up again, I’m laying it down. I’m not even close to being ready to give those up!

      • PS. Ativan melting under your tongue is even better in a clutch! 🙂

  3. I can relate to this whole wishing I had been hit by a car feeling. As for the fish oil idea. Hm not sure being hit by fish oil would have the same effect? Or have I got it all confused somewhere? 80 mile an hour fish oil eeeeeek!

    Slippery Slimy Cyber hugs.

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