A Stabbing – Because Magically Mad Lost a Follower and Her BPD Says it’s Because She’s Garbage

And, while I’m reactive, I’m also selective in my obscenity. So I’ll decline to cyber-moon my Unfollower, but here’s my Fuck You. Unfollow this. Sorry to the few of you for whom this is repetitive. Brighton, Summer 1983 – Mom Stabs Bobby.

Emptiness and Isolation Will Kill Me

  THIS POST IS NOT A CRY FOR HELP, JUST A COMMENTARY ON THE THINGS THAT HAPPEN BEFORE THAT LAST BREATH. I just tried to take my life. My husband could tell I was desperate and had followed me upstairs, and I was screaming at him to get out, to leave me alone. “But I […]

When Borderline Attacks: Attachment, Rejection, Abandonment – All in One Night! (featuring Jimmy Gnecco and Ours)

So, back at the hospital I met a girl – I think I mentioned her in one of my “Inpatient” posts – the girl with the guitar and the Katrina canine rescue. Let’s call her K. I bought tickets to see possibly my favorite live act – typically I go alone to see Jimmy Gnecco […]

In-patient: Day 19: Group Therapy – PTSD

I’ve attended this group 3 weeks in a row, it’s the best group. The group is patient-driven, & one of the topics that came up was whether someone with PTSD (or Complex PTSD) could shed their victimization. A, who brought it up, is 19 or 20, posed it like this: “If you were harmed by […]

Reblogging: What Is Essential in Life . . .

Any Borderline could use this piece of wisdom, it’s like a kick in the ass, but is good to have for those of us who love in survival mode.   What Is Essential in Life . . ..

Dear Jigsaw, Are You Accepting Patients?

So tomorrow will make it two weeks since I’ve been here. I am scheduled to be discharged. I’m not sure how many times I have told my ‘team’ that I still do not feel safe, they are treating me like I’m a baby. We have check in teams and the nurses say “No, you have […]

In-patient: Days 5 & 6 (Potential Triggers – not really though)

DAY 5 Today one of the women (K) was waiting for meds at the nurses station. The same nurse who had checked me in on Friday night. Some conversation ensued, I didn’t catch the whole thing – something about how everybody has problems. K: Yes, my sister-in-law is a psychiatric nurse and she has plenty […]

In-patient: Days 1-4 (Potential Triggers)

You would think I would have more to say than I actually do, this whole “everyone else expresses themselves so much better than I do bit” again. DAY 1 I checked in at the ER at Mt. Auburn around 10am on Friday, explained that I was getting ready to die and the nurses had arranged for […]

Support: A Very Quick Post

Headed to ER tonight to check in – my boss just e-mailed me re. what she needs done by next week. I told her I was checking in but that have planned tactically to get into the unit that allows laptops & cell phones, so that I could get the work done. Her response: Hi-  […]

To Jump or Not to Jump? That’s Not Really the Question.

Have spent the last week shifting along the mental spectrum, a visit to every shade within its confines. No preference, and no discernible pattern. One day no meds needed, the next day 50 valium didn’t make a dent. I just don’t get it.  And in the end, now, I just feel numb. My attention for […]